On the plus side at least things aren’t so bad in the world of wrestling (well in the WWE anyway). A day I thought that would never come has come and that’s the fact that John Cena actually is worthy of praise. His match with Shawn Michaels the last week on RAW was as classic as it gets. Cena got a lot of crap from me and others on the internet for his lame character and his stale move set, but on RAW he finally broke through to honest to God main event caliber wrestler. Cena was always able to have an above average match, but on RAW he went a damn hour and made it look good. Plenty of guys can go an hour. But usually it comes down to one of two things. Those who can carry the load…and those who need to be carried. Now with Cena’s limited wrestling you would have thought Shawn Michaels would have had to do some heavy duty lifting but by the end of the match I’d say both men were equally great in the match. Michaels with his over the top selling of his bad back and Cena doing everything he can to beat Michaels.
I know some of you might be thinking I’ve done a 180, but rest assured I haven’t. I still hate John Cena’s character with a passion. The whole wanna be Marine and over the top baby face act is lame and I still believe along with a lot of other fans that they should have turned him heel a long time ago. Just listening to the crowds in Europe from the past two weeks on RAW it’s clear the rest of the world does not like him. Of course that might have something to do with the whole Jarhead thing because we’re not too well liked around the rest of the world for some reason.
But as a wrestler, John Cena sold me on last week on RAW. I’ve seen him have damn good brawls and up until Monday I was sick of his formula style of wrestling which was get beat on only to come back and hit the moves of doom for the win. This match had a really good story behind it which is rare in the WWE. Shawn Michaels usually doesn’t work his ass off unless it suits his own needs. It was a welcome surprise to see Michaels go all out in this match. It would have made sense to do the rematch on the PPV, but after seeing this match it’s pretty damn clear they didn’t want HBK/Cena stealing the show again like they did at Wrestlemania 23.
Speaking of Backlash, this Sunday starts a new system for the WWE where all the brands will be represented on the PPV. Vinnie Mac and company feel that since the buyrates go up on the big four ppv’s that we must want to see everyone on the shows. As usual it’s backward thinking by the WWE. The reason why the big four PPV’s do well is because IT’S THE BIG FOUR PPV’S. The core audience grew up watching The Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Summerslam, and The Survivor Series. Everything else is filler any way you look at it.
But with the price of PPV’s at $40 a pop the WWE figures they should at least give us something worth the price of ordering. Well at least they have that much figured out. Only problem is what they are giving us. A big angle for the Backlash PPV is Bobby Lashley vs. Vince, Shane, and Umaga in a 3 on 1 Handicap match for the ECW Title. It seems that they will not give up on making Bobby Lashley the third big star of the company. Right now the pecking order is John Cena and The Undertaker. The WWE thinks they can put Lashley who is unproven as a draw in that spot.
As much as people bust on Cena and The Undertaker they are proven draws in the sense they bring in a lot of money with merchandising. Attendance figures are a wonky issue at best. But the real money is in merchandising and John Cena is at the top of the mountain in that regard. Bobby Lashley doesn’t draw money in any shape or form. Perhaps if they gave him some character when he first arrived he would be on his way, but he is as bland as it gets and why he was picked for this feud with McMahon I’ll never know. It is funny though considering how hard the WWE tries. Right now LASHLEY has a lot of Brock Lesnar’s mannerisms. When Brock was there you thought he was going to fuck someone up. Lashley on the other hand looks about as imposing a kitten. I mean how you can not laugh when he gets all bug eyed and tries to be The Incredible Hulk is beyond me.
UMAGA…Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
OH NOES WE GOTS BREAKING NEWS
Some where Shane Douglas is saying to himself thank God it’s not Flair
but he’s still screaming DICK DICK DICK DICK DICK
So as if you haven’t heard by now, Vince McMahon is now the ECW World Champion. Usually when you get bad news it’s a shock to your system. You go numb and then there’s the denial and agony. Well I’m skipping over all that and moving right to acceptance. Vince has a huge ego and you knew the moment ECW came back one day he would put the title on himself because after all this is his grand vision. So the fact that Vince is now ECW World Champion doesn’t bother me. What does bother me is the fact that like so many things before, they will with out a doubt screw this up.
The way I figure it they can go one of two ways. The most logical way is for them to turn the heat up to about a million and people tune in to see if Vince can survive another week as champion. Of course we know Vince isn’t going to wrestle every single week. He’ll have his lackeys and toadies wrestle for him but we won’t see Vince wrestle every week. They could have an original go through the gauntlet to earn the shot at Vince but you know they’ll just get screwed over anyway since that style of booking seems to of worked for them for the last ten years.
The way they will probably end up going is Vince defeats all the originals only for us to get our hopes up that RVD will win only for him to lose. See that’s the reason why they moved One Night Stand out of New York. It had nothing to do with Stephanie thinking Paul Heyman would sabotage the show. It’s because if they booked Vince vs. RVD in front of that crowd there really would be a riot. Normally if you can get a crowd to riot you know your doing your job as a heel. But the riot in this case would probably be one to cause congressional hearings. Of course them moving the show to Florida for that reason would mean Vince winning the title was the plan all along and if we know anything about the WWE, they just don’t plan things out that far in advance (well at least for the C Show).
Personally if I had a choice I’d book Tommy Dreamer into a feud with Vince. It would be a rather simple feud to book as Tommy represents the heart and soul of ECW and Vince is the heartless monster who wants to destroy it. Tommy is one of those rare guys in wrestling who draw you into a match on an emotional level. Tommy can take a hell of a beating and you get pulled in hoping that Tommy can overcome the odds and win. Tommy is the classic baby face and he does his job to a tee. Besides it makes sense from a political standpoint in the WWE because Tommy has an office job and unlike RVD, Tommy knows his corporate role.
The rumors right now are that RVD turned down the WWE’s latest offer for a contract so that means unless the WWE suddenly decides to give him what ever he wants, RVD will be gone by the summer. Of course you know TNA fans are frothing at the bits at the prospect of RVD in TNA. I’ll save you all the trouble of getting your hopes up.
They fucked up getting Kurt Angle. What do you think they will do if RVD goes to TNA.
If not Tommy it would be fun to see The Sandman get a push but there’s a slim chance of that happening since all the rumors are he and Sabu are on borrowed time anyway in the WWE. So it makes sense to give this spot to Tommy. Of all the guys from ECW/WCW, Tommy Dreamer is the one guy who deserves that big pay day and moment in the sun.
Speaking of someone who does NOT deserve a moment in the sun, we come to the IWC’s favorite big man, The Great Khali. On RAW they did a little angle where someone took out HBK, Edge, and Orton. Cena came out at the end of the night and after a minute of build up Khali lumbered down to the ring. To Cena’s credit (thought I’d never say that) he gave Khali a hell of a fight. But the big loaf doesn’t bump for anyone. I mean Andre The Giant bumped for people. All Khali does is just stand there and shrug people off. It was a testament to John Cena’s strength when he got him up for the FU. As immobile as Khali is, even a simple move like a fireman’s carry which the FU is can be monumental. Cena ended up dead lifting him onto his back which was amazing and I had to admit I almost marked out simply because I hate Khali that much. In the end Khali laid out Cena with that I PICK YOU UP AND THEN DROP YOU slam. That made me and Phantom Classic cringe as there’s nothing fun about being dumped like that from about 9 feet up in the air.
It boggles my mind and the mind of anyone who watches the WWE as to why they keep pushing this loaf. Khali much like Mark Henry is a black hole of heat. He sucks the life out of the crowd and that is not a good thing especially if you are even thinking about something as suicidal as a title run for Khali. Khali will never draw as a champion. Even him holding the title as a transitional champion would do harm beyond belief. I hope the WWE doesn’t do anything drastic but after Sunday with Vince winning the ECW title the term never say never in this business really is a scary thought.
Before I go I have to commend the WWE for the Edge/Orton match on RAW. That’s two weeks in a row we’ve gotten amazing matches. Someone on DVDVR wondered if the entire writing team got sacked because surely they couldn’t come up with anything this good. We also got Carlito turning heel on Ric Flair and all I can say to that is thank God. Carlito is a damn good wrestler when he’s motivated and now that he’ll be back to being a bad guy I would imagine he’s going to be motivated. It was fun though to see Flair thwart Carlito’s attempt at a beat down. I’m looking forward to this feud as it’s a continuation of their feud over the Intercontinental title (of course we’re not supposed to remember that far back). A rumor floating around is this will lead to a Loser leaves Town match and Flair will get his chance to go to Smackdown.
Flair knows he’s only got so much left in the tank so why not get one last Flair for the Gold. I mean its better its Big Gold and not that damn spinner belt. But as long as I don’t ever have to see Ric Flair in barbwire and thumbtacks I’ll be happy. As great as Hardcore Flair was…Flair doesn’t need to splatter himself like that.
Well that’s it for this week. I hope and plan to have a column next week. I’ve been re-energized lately and there’s a good reason for that. The PWA (Psychotic Wrestling Alliance) has left my old stomping ground at Lords of Pain meaning I get to come back. Long story short while a lot of the core roster has come back, we much like ECW can use some new blood. So if you do that e-fed rp stuff come join us at http://www.pwalliance.cjb.net. We are looking for ORIGINAL CHARACTERS ONLY. So please no sign up’s for anyone in the WWE, TNA, or any other well known company. It’s a good company plus for those of you who have wanted to see me put my money where my mouth is when it comes to fantasy booking, you now get your chance. So yeah sign up on the board and join the roster because like I said we’re looking for new blood.
On that note I’m done for this week and until next time take care and remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has to be me.
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