ed us ribbing Dave Meltzer about something he said about Giant Baba. Bull Nakano's photo is down below. She doesn't have the shaved head at this time as Bowdren mentions. BTW, as I told Jeff back in the day - if given the chance - I would have DID HER!! It was Bull!! Love In The Elevator - The Bull Story by Jeff Bowdren
Okay, okay. The time has come for the story to be told. The real story (God, this sounds like the opening sentence to a Tolkien novel or something), anyway, forget what you've heard at the fan get-togethers. Forget those weird variations of the story that Lemieux or Flaherty (don't forget to get chills down your spine BT, I mentioned *his* name) may have come up with. This is "The Way It Was"...
Okay, okay. The time has come for the story to be told. The real story (God, this sounds like the opening sentence to a Tolkien novel or something), anyway, forget what you've heard at the fan get-togethers. Forget those weird variations of the story that Lemieux or Flaherty (don't forget to get chills down your spine BT, I mentioned *his* name) may have come up with. This is "The Way It Was"...
It was December 1987, when I visited Japan with The Guru, Meltzer-Wan Kenobi. Even though we saw loads of great matches, the definite highlight of the trip was our visit to famous Korakuen Hall in downtown Tokyo to see the All-J
apan women. They were all there: Chigusa, Asuka, The Dumpster (voted in 1986 as "Woman Brian Tramel would most like to be on a desert island with" contest) and of course, Bull Nakano. Yes, the woman with the half shaved head, the painted face and thighs, *OH THOSE THIGHS!* Those things circumvent the globe! How does she do those legdrops from the second rope anyhow? Anyway, she was on the card too! It was a great card by the way (one of the top five cards I've ever seen live!) and after it was over, Meltzer Wan-Kenobi and myself managed to get backstage by yelling "American Press, American Press!!" Everytime someone looked twice at us. We talked with Chigusa (who was super nice) for awhile. She was very concerned about whether she had had a good match that night. We asked her what her favorite US city was. She says, "Boston, you know, like Boston Crabs." All the girls were super nice, displaying none of the dyke-like qualities many have rumored. I steadfastly maintain that Chigusa is *not* a clit-licker, as scuttlebut has it that she was such a big Akira Maeda fan that she let him pick the cherry.
apan women. They were all there: Chigusa, Asuka, The Dumpster (voted in 1986 as "Woman Brian Tramel would most like to be on a desert island with" contest) and of course, Bull Nakano. Yes, the woman with the half shaved head, the painted face and thighs, *OH THOSE THIGHS!* Those things circumvent the globe! How does she do those legdrops from the second rope anyhow? Anyway, she was on the card too! It was a great card by the way (one of the top five cards I've ever seen live!) and after it was over, Meltzer Wan-Kenobi and myself managed to get backstage by yelling "American Press, American Press!!" Everytime someone looked twice at us. We talked with Chigusa (who was super nice) for awhile. She was very concerned about whether she had had a good match that night. We asked her what her favorite US city was. She says, "Boston, you know, like Boston Crabs." All the girls were super nice, displaying none of the dyke-like qualities many have rumored. I steadfastly maintain that Chigusa is *not* a clit-licker, as scuttlebut has it that she was such a big Akira Maeda fan that she let him pick the cherry.Anyway, it was down by the dressing room that I met.....Bull. To paraphrase Bo Diddley (and "Universal Heart-throb" Austin Idol) she was an "Old man's wish, young man's dream." At least she was if you're into restraining devices. Her half-shaved head was looking fine and she gave me that crooked tooth smile. When our eyes met, it was a magical moment. Like...Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman", like Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore in "Ghost", like Tom Cruise and Rebecca DeMornay in "Risky Business", or maybe like Dave Meltzer and Ferk in Baltimore. Anyway, non-pornographic photos were taken. So, me and Meltzer Wan-Kenobi made our way to the exit and got into an elevator to take us down to the lobby. I look over and who's next to me...The Bullster. She was wearing a mask (in Japan, when someone has a cold or flu they wear a mask to prevent spreading germs - or maybe it's to hide their face). We had met some guy there who spoke Japanese. I told him to tell Bull how much I enjoyed her match. He tells her and she looks at me and says in broken English "Thank you...I love you." So the guy says to her (in Japanese) that if she loves me she should give me a kiss, which is an American custom. So she says back to him (in Japanese) that in Japan if you love someone that you have sex with them. Then she points to me and says (again in Japanese) "I want to have sex with you!" Well, everyone in the elevator except me and Meltzer (we had no idea what was being said) knew what she was saying. The guy translated what she said, I turned and looked at her, our eyes met, the elevator opened, and I saw 2,000 Japanese tenderonis waiting in the lobby. I looked back for Bull and she was.....gone. End of story.
Well, almost. But....in the spirit of David Letterman, I now present "Writer's Embellishment". I went into the elevator with Meltzer. Inside the elevator were Bull and about 5 other Japanese girls. Calling upon my fluent Japanese, I told Bull how bitchin' I thought her match was. She smiled seductively and, staring at my groin, asked me if I was related to that famous American, John Holmes. I told her that I knew Johnny Wadd and that I used to call him "Pee Wee". Dave was jumping up and down. "What'd she say! What'd she say!" Bull threw back her head and laughed, you know, one of those deep throaty - Ellen Barkin-like laughs. "Who's the guy that looks like Brian Pillman?" she asked. I told her that Dave and I were the famous American journalists, Bill Apter and George Napolitano. She immediately suggested a three-way. I told Dave my plan. He said, "Wait a minute! I can't cheat on Erin!" I reminded him that this embellishment took place in 1987, a full year before he began dating Erin. "Um, well," Dave said, "What about my readers? What will they think if I engage in some sort of kinky sexual escapade?" I told him that Tramel and Harry White would be damn proud. Bull hit her knees, a ready and willing boy toy. Suddenly, the door opened and 2,000 teenagers peered in. "I've lost my contact lens," screamed Bull. As the young girls searched the floor of the elevator, I looked and saw Meltzer running through the lobby, yelling to me that he needed to watch a Tiger Mask match to purify himself. I turned to Bull and smiled. "Too bad," she said, "it would have been magical." "You're damn right.", I replied. For you at least...
(Jeff Bowdren lives in Plantation, Florida with his "hot babe from hell" Kelly at his side. Jeff's work can be seen monthly in the TORCH, weekly in the OBSERVER, and daily on his bedroom wall. He has been known to sit by Dave Flaherty, KLON, and Ron Lemieux during the matches. That's a feat in itself, when Flaherty is considered the most obnoxious, rowdiest, drunkest wrestling fan to ever attend wrestling in Florida. It's a scary thought, but we all have a little Dave Flaherty in us all. Now since I'm through talking about Jeff, we will get on with the issue.)
