Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow Phantom Lord and this is your year end edition of The Rant of the Week. As always I am coming to you from the good end of Long Island otherwise known as Brooklyn, New York and Christmas has passed and New Years is upon us and I hardly even notice. I mean really what is the deal with this weather. We should be getting snow but all we’re getting is rain. Now I don’t mind the rain. I’m actually happy when it rains (I love that song even to this day). But this is winter damn it. If this global warming stuff isn’t for real then I want my snow. Colorado is getting all my snow. I should have snow drifts 5 feet high in my front yard right now. Ah well I guess it is for the best. People around here drive bad enough as it is with rain. It’s not pleasant when these people have to cope with ice covered roads.
Ah well as I said the year of 2006 is coming to an end and honestly I’m glad the year is over. When it comes to a year for pro wrestling I can’t remember the last time a year made me go OH WHAT THE FUCK over and over and over. As a fan it’s annoying when you see something good turn into something bad, but when you see it over and over it makes you question why you even watch to begin with. But as I say with the good there is the bad. Besides there isn’t much else on television anyway so the WWE and TNA specifically get a free pass when it comes to that. God forbid if they had REAL competition.
For me personally as a fan there were two people that stood out the most. Rey Mysterio and Sting.
The year started off simple enough for Rey. We were still mourning the death of Eddie Guerrero so we all got behind Rey Mysterio as he put aside that whole Dominick thing from the summer of 05 and dedicated every match and moment to Eddie. His big moment came when he was in the Royal Rumble. To further build up the drama aspect Rey drew number 2 and started off the Rumble with Triple H who drew number 1. I didn’t watch the Rumble when it aired but Smackdown was kind enough to show it in clipped form on Friday night and I have to say the prospect of a Triple H/Rey Mysterio match is an interesting one. One interesting enough that I would be inclined to order a show just to see it. We say what we want about Triple H, but the guy honestly doesn’t get nearly enough credit as a wrestler. Yeah sure there’s all the political stuff with him being the son Vince never had, but still the guy bumps his ass off no matter who he’s facing. It must be the inner mark in me who enjoys seeing him take head scissor take downs. Of course if the match ever happened we all know HOW it would go down but still it’s an interesting one never the less and the WWE doesn’t have to many of those these days.
But back to the Rumble as Rey and Triple H ended up going the distance and it and it came down to them and Randy Orton. Triple H ends up getting eliminated by Rey and then Orton ends up getting eliminated by Rey and Rey wins the Rumble. Rey is going to Wrestlemania. Of course lead it up to the WWE to do the old “loser of the rumble demands match where the winner gets the shot at Wrestlemania” angle with Orton. I personally never understood why they do this since it defeats having the Rumble in the first place. The match for Wrestlemania was going to be Rey vs. Kurt Angle for the World Title (Shawn Michaels was supposed to go to Smackdown but he was to good for that so they gave the spot to Angle). Orton takes on Rey and he wins by holding the ropes and Rey is robbed of his dream. After that we had the first of many “well what the hell did they have the ppv moments for” moments as on the next Smackdown Teddy Long declared that since Orton won he couldn’t take him out of the match. But since he cheated he’s throwing Rey in there so Rey gets his Wrestlemania match anyway.
They could have spent the whole month building Angle and Rey but as we know God forbid those lowly Smackdown guys outshine anyone on RAW. So the match was set as Angle vs. Orton vs. Mysterio for the World Title. I didn’t watch Wrestlemania this year because honestly there wasn’t one match on the card that said I had to order this show. From what I remember everyone was disappointed with this match since one it wasn’t the main event and two it was under ten minutes. The whole point of winning the Rumble was to be in the main event but the real main event was set aside for John Cena doing a piss poor impersonation of a Chicago Gangster (complete with C.M. Punk as a guy number 2). Triple H’s Conan intro amused me when I saw it on Youtube. The look on his face really said it all. You figure the Princess must have thought up that one.
But as for Rey’s match, it was good for what it was worth and Rey ended up beating Orton to become to World Heavyweight Champion and from there it was ALL down hill for him. For starters they couldn’t call him a Heavyweight so he was just the World Champion. Then the WWE saw fit to job him out to every monster they could every single week just to rub it in that a cruiserweight can not beat someone like Khali or Mizark Henry. It always amazes me how the WWE takes something good and manages to ruin it for their own selfish reasons. Rey winning the title was a good inspirational story as he did it for Eddie. Rey as an inspirational champion sure as hell would have been a better gimmick then he was lucky to win it and he’s lucky to continue to hang on to it.
Rey would eventually lose the title to King Booker thanks to Chavo Guerrero and that would lead to an angle that some say is tasteless even by WWE standards. The jist of the angle is Chavo says Rey stole Eddie’s legacy and they got Vickie involved with it. At first she didn’t want them fighting but in the end she turned on Rey to side with Chavo to become his “business manager”. Now some wonder why Vickie is even doing this. Well the obvious answer is money. See the WWE claims all the royalties of all that Eddie memorial merchandise was going to her but as in the case with everyone else the percentage is so small its no where near what is needed to cover her bills since Eddie’s death. She was going to lose the house they just bought and even the WWE isn’t that heartless so they gave her this gig of being Chavo’s manager on television. Of course now the big issue some people have is they seem to have dolled her up making her look all glam.
See now that makes me laugh. Would people prefer she be on television looking frumpy? I personally believe she looks great and as long as she’s getting a really good pay check to do this so she and her kids don’t lose their home in the end it balances out. But I just wish they wouldn’t have her physically get involved in the matches. They have an angle with her wearing a neck brace because she got pushed off the ring apron by accident by Chris Benoit. It honestly reminds me of what Cyndi Lauper said of her time in the WWF back during the whole rock & wrestling angle.
She said to the effect that the reason she left when she did is because they started treating her like one of the boys and she sure as hell wasn’t one of the boys. Now I know that’s not the case with Vickie when she’s at shows, but still the widow of Eddie Guerrero shouldn’t have to be bumping for anyone. Of course things could be worse I suppose. Before Rey lost his I Quit match they could have had his wife Angie get involved and had some sort of diva’s match with Vickie and her.
As I said Rey lost his I Quit match and now he’s on the shelf because he needed some major knee surgery. According to a post Bob Barnett made on DVDVR he says Rey needs a new knee all together. With Rey’s contract up around the same time he’s supposed to come back the Observer said Kurt Angle will make a pitch to him to come to TNA. It would be a lot easier on him schedule wise plus he could go back to wrestle in Mexico more often. Personally I wouldn’t mind seeing him in TNA. Sure TNA is a place for WWE cast off’s but if it means Rey won’t be used like a human lawn dart for the hosses then it’s worth it in the end. Plus he can go back to being Rey Mysterio Jr like he’s always been.
So for the WWE that was the most memorable thing for me in 2006. Watching Rey Mysterio’s career go up and down like a roller coaster was amusing especially considering how much more money they could make off him then John Cena. But hey Cena’s got that whole wanna be jarhead thing going on right now. Why ruin that.
Moving along we go to the polar opposite of the WWE in TNA. TNA did one thing right this year and that was bring back Sting. Well I should say they almost did one thing right because after he came back in a tag match with Christian Cage against Jeff Jarrett and Monty Brown he “retired” and promptly took two months off. While he was “retired”, Jarrett sent a young kid named Alex Shelley out to California to stalk Sting to get him back to TNA so he could retire him the Jarrett way. During all of this we got what would become TNA’s best thing ever in Paparazzi Productions. Alex Shelley shined as the video voyeur of Pro wrestling. Sting finally got fed up with him and he walked over to him and grabbed him and told him to tell Jarrett that Sting wasn’t coming back...Steve Borden was. At the Against All Odds PPV Steve Borden did indeed show up and he cleaned house only for Scott Steiner to show up and attack Sting.
TNA managed to turn all of this into a pretty hot angle it led to a War Games match of sorts at TNA Lockdown with Sting’s team taking on Team Jarrett. Sting’s team got the win and all through this we were left with one big problem. Jeff Jarrett was still the top heel in the company. He mercifully lost the NWA Title to Christian the month before but where Christian should have been the focus of the company, all the heat was on Sting and Jarrett as it was a feud no one wanted to see in WCW in 2000 much less TNA in 2006. But hey that didn’t stop them from continuing the feud because when you’re the head booker of a company who better to put over then yourself.
Jarrett eventually won back the world title in the King of the Mountain match prompting a riot from the fans in Orlando as he won in screw job fashion. Sting set his sites on Jarrett to take the belt off him. They had a match at the next ppv and Jarrett won when Christian turned heel on Sting. Jarrett continued to hold the title and proved every single critic of TNA right. They came up with an idea for one last rematch but Sting wanted it at the Bound For Glory PPV in Detroit. It was Career vs. Title. It should have been career vs. career but we can’t be that lucky. We all knew Sting would win and he did. Personally as a fan I marked out for Sting winning because Sting as NWA Champion made things feel right again. Of course Kurt Angle also being in TNA also didn’t hurt matters especially since a Sting/Angle match is down the road.
But this is TNA so of course they have to screw it up some how and screw it up they did with Sting’s first title defense against Abyss. He lost the title by getting DQ’ed. Sting to his credit wanted to put Abyss over clean since you know that would make him look better but TNA and Rev. Russo (since he’s back) said “Nope we’ll do a screwy DQ finish”. Sting is now involved in an angle with Abyss and Christian Cage where Christian is teasing revealing some secret involving Abyss in prison or a mental hospital and Sting is trying to lure Abyss away from Rev. Mitchell. No word if he’s doing it for his own good or if he’s trying to bring him over to Team Jesus.
That’s where Sting stands right now and he is with out a doubt the best thing about TNA this year. He was the first real big star they got and along with Christian Cage and TNA guys like Samoa Joe, Abyss, A.J. Styles, Christopher Daniels, and others they have a real solid card. But TNA manages to always screw it up. Samoa Joe should have been NWA Champion in the summer but they continue to keep the belt off him and they hot shotted him into a feud with Kurt Angle and Kurt beat him to end the streak. They could have hyped a match between them for months but they chose three weeks and it sums up everything I’ve said about TNA.
But despite all that I still have hope for them (despite what Pee Wee Moore told me). As a fan all I know is I’m glad Sting is back. I’ll take Sting in squash matches over any number of WWE guys any day of the week.
So that was 2006 in a nut shell. Oh sure I could have talked about how John Cena went over EVERYONE and how Vince McMahon continues to get dumber with each passing week. But I chose to go with what kept me watching and that was Rey and Sting. I could have wrote about Kurt Angle but I figure I’ll save that for next year assuming he doesn’t die in one of the shoot matches he says he’s going to have. I could have wrote about ECW and how it keeps dying a slow death each week but why bother. I don’t even watch it anymore so Fuck ECW and Vince’s vision of it.
Speaking of his vision of ECW I figure I’ll close off 2006 with some random news stories that have amused me greatly and I hope they do the same for you.
As previously reported, Sabu’s backstage behavior may be leading him out the door of the company, and Sandman may be following him. There has been some locker room speculation that Sandman’s future in WWE is not looking bright. Apparently on the European tour in November, his loud behavior got under Undertaker’s skin. Taker said he could put up with Big Show’s behavior since he’s used to him, but Sandman was just rubbing him the wrong way. The feeling is that Sandman needs to change his behavior, or else he might not last.
Credit to The Wrestling Observer
First off when did The Undertaker become such a whiney little bitch? Yeah I called him a whiney little bitch. The Sandman is The Sandman. What you see is what you get. But I guess since The Sandman isn’t one of the WWE boys he has to watch his behavior? I believe the expression one shouldn’t throw stones in glass houses applies to The Undertaker. Mr. I only work when I have to. Mr. I get to phone it in with every feud I’m in now. You get where I’m getting at? The Sandman could actually make some money for the WWE if they actually used him. But I just find it funny that The Undertaker doesn’t like his behavior. But like I said I guess it helps to be one of the boys in the back. If your not then your rubbing people the wrong way. If the WWE were smart they’d book a Undertaker/Sandman feud.
Now there’s a feud I’d love to see. Have The Sandman piss him off to the point where The American Badass comes back and let them have some good old fashion brawls. It would be better then another casket match or something.
Moving along we come to Princess Stephanie and her never ending quest to give the IWC something to write about.
Stephanie sees Daniel Rodmier as "the new Diesel", and wants to put him with Edge and Orton. There are already House Shows being advertised with DX .VS. Edge, Orton, & Rodmier in 2 .VS. 3, Handicap Matches.
Credit to The Wrestling Observer
Stephanie, you ignorant slut. There is only one Diesel and that’s The God of the X Division Kevin Nash. This Rodmier fellow is one of the Tough Enough rejects.
That’s Daniel Rodmier and as you can see he fits the WWE mold of bland looking college jock complete with gay tribal tattoos. According to reports, most in the WWE feel if he debuted in 2008 that would be pushing it. But since Princess Stephanie apparently has a thing for him (why else would she say he is the next big thing) he’s going to get a huge main event spot as the bodyguard of Rated RKO (considering how they take people out I didn’t know they needed one). By all accounts he can’t work a match to save his life and judging by the goofy look of his face I’d imagine he doesn’t have an imposing look much like Diesel did. But hey this isn’t the first time she was wrong and it won’t be the last and it’s always amusing to watch.
Finally we have this tibit for ECW as if things weren’t bad enough.
Its been confirmed that Gene Snitsky will be moving to ECW. Things are going to be different for him because he is in line for a push. The idea is to make him something akin to the "ECW heel Kane." Furthermore, his look is also going to change. He is going to shave his long beard and change his hairstyle - he'll likely shave his head bald.
Credit to The Wrestling Observer
Aren’t there enough bald generic guys in wrestling? Arn Anderson and Fit Finlay are the ones who want Gene moved to ECW. Now as much as I love and respect Double A and Finlay you have to wonder what the hell they are thinking. Let us not forget that Gene Snitsky got heel heat for a miscarriage. After the novelty of being a baby killer wore off he was the big weird guy who had a foot fetish and well no one really wants to think about that. So he’s been in limbo ever since June when Goldust got canned (it’s a shame since they were having some good skits). Now they want to send him to ECW along with Chris Masters. ECW isn’t becoming a third brand. It’s becoming a wasteland for the people creative has nothing for. Add to that they will send most of OVW there it’s going to be a bad year for ECW next year. Now if Gene gets over then more power to him. But I don’t see how making him shave his head and beard will do that. As it is he looks like a deranged guy with his current look (well minus all the back acne from the umm roids).
So yeah I have to wonder what Arn and Finlay are thinking. Then again it is the WWE. Someone said “hey lets have that fat fuck writer go out in a g-string and dance” and they took them seriously and as my IWC Coast 2 Coast co host Ed a.k.a Dumass says “He’s living the rib”.
Well that’s about it for 2006. I would hope 2007 is better but I kind of doubt it will be. John Cena will still be WWE Champion, Bobby Lashley is ECW World Champion, and Jeff Jarrett no doubt will be NWA Champion again.
On the plus side I would guess things can’t get much worse but we know they always do. I await the Lashley/Test Wrestlemania match. That will put some butts in the seats.
On that not I am done. Hopefully I will be back sooner rather then later but like I’ve said you know how this writing stuff is getting.
On a happy note make sure to listen to http://www.endradio.com New Years Eve from 6 PM to 6 AM Eastern as we’ll be doing our New Years Celebration. If you got a party going simply put the computer on the site and crank the speakers up. We’ll handle the music while you ring in the new year.
Next weekend look forward to the LIVE return of IWC Coast 2 Coast with myself and Dumass. I’ll announce a firm time when we’ll be on so check out my live journal or WrestlingUnited.com for more info.
Well I’m done with the shills. Have a good new year and try not to get to shitfaced and until next time remember someone has to give you this information and it DAMN well has got to be me.
You can click here to send me any and all feedback at phantomlordnyc@yahoo.com or leave me some feedback in my Live Journal
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